Combating Commitment Phobia

Commitment phobia is rooted in fear -- fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. Most especially, commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, but especially relationships. And like the proverb, its a double edged sword: on the one hand you avoid obligations, ties, and commitments yet at the same time the commitment phobic may secretly crave the lives of those who committed and the growth that those roots produced.

Commitment phobics are the women who say, "All men are jerks," or the men who claim, "Women are only out to get my money rationalisations to justify avoiding a committed relationship.

Men are generally considered more commitment-phobic than women, but recent research suggests that this might be a case of stereotyping, and that it is not necessarily a gender-specific thing.

Intimacy

However, most commitment phobic men and women truly yearn for a deep and intimate relationship leading toward marriage, but fright causes them to butcher every dating opportunity they may get. Sex outside of marriage, or promiscuous behaviour fosters a false sense of intimacy, which feels really good at the time, but is only a fabrication based on how we think we should feel when we are having sex. It is the substitution of instant gratification at the expense of deep, lasting satisfying soul-love.

Relationships

In romantic relationships, the paradox is that the commitment phobic craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. When we speak of commitment phobia among singles, we are referring to folks who avoid committing to long term relationships such as marriage. Previous abusive relationships, intimacy issues or traumatic childhood experiences could be causes for this kind of commitment avoidance. Another possibility is that the child might have witnessed, or been a victim of, poor role models, or even abusive relationships during those formative years. Not surprisingly, this can (consciously or unconsciously) colour the way they feel and take part in relationships as an adult, too.

Statistics show that we are happier and more well-adjusted when we are in committed relationships. According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. Rather than being harmful, commitment-phobia is a healthy fear that will prevent you from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. At this point you may form temporary friendships and love relationships in order to "get your feet wet" again.

Rather than being harmful, commitment phobia may be seen as a healthy fear that will prevent you from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. Struggling against the fear of commitment often pays off because being able to share your life with someone you really care for can be wonderful.

Meanwhile, think on this: Commitment phobia has its roots in the belief that when we love someone, we are responsible for their feelings rather than for our own.

Whilst there are many therapies and even medications out there that may or may not be helpful, ultimately the answers lie, as always, in yourself. Knowing which buttons to press is not always obvious, however. To that end, you may like to look at my self help book How To Love Again When Your Hearts Been Broken. See the resource box for details. ============================================================================

Trevor Emdon is a self improvement author and workshop leader based in the UK. He was a senior mental health practitioner in Britains National Health Service for many years, and now devotes his time to writing and teaching personal development. To sign up for his free self improvement newsletter, visit http://www.wizardofwisdom.com. You can download "How To Love Again When Your Heart's Been Broken" today from http://www.in-love-again.com

The Amazing Noni Plant Morinda citrifolia - Medical Miracle?

With all the hype and talk about this plant the past few months I thought I would address some of the myths and facts about this plant. Regardless if you believe this is a cure all fruit or a hoax, the plant and fruit itself is amazing.

Some of the basic common names for this fruit are: noni fruit, Indian mulberry, Morinda, hog apple, meng koedoe, mora de la India, ruibarbo caribe, wild pine

The Scientific or Medical name is: Morinda citrifolia

First, let preface this entry with the following statement. There is no scientific evidence that noni juice is effective in preventing or treating cancer or any other disease in humans. Although animal and laboratory studies have shown some positive effects, human studies are just getting started. Research is also going on to isolate various compounds found in the noni plant so that further testing can be done to find out if they may be useful in humans. Proponents claim that the noni fruit and its juice can be used to treat cancer, diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol, high blood pressure, HIV, rheumatism, psoriasis, allergies, infection, and inflammation. Some believe that the fruit can relieve sinus infections, menstrual cramps, arthritis, ulcers, sprains, injuries, depression, senility, poor digestion, atherosclerosis, addiction, colds, flu, and headaches. It is further claimed that the juice can heal scratches on the cornea of the eye. There is no scientific evidence to support these claims.

In saying this, many countries have been using this plant for centuries for holistic treatments and cures. In India, proponents use noni as a remedy for asthma and dysentery, and folk healers in the Pacific islands use it for many types of illness. In the United States, some noni juice distributors promote it as a general tonic, stress reliever, facial and body cleanser, and a dietary and nutritional supplement.

The Noni plant is a tropical evergreen tree that grows to about 10 feet tall in Tahiti, Pacific Islands, Asia, Australia, South America, Philippines, Caribbean and Southern States of the United States of America.

The history of the Noni plant is also unique. It is assumed to have originated in Asia and was distributed throughout the Pacific Islands by natural and man-made means. About 2000 years ago, ancient people of French Polynesia brought the Noni plant with them as a source of food and medicine, so it is assumed, when the colonized the islands around them. Even Captain James Cook in the 1700s wrote and observed the fruit was consumed in Tahiti and other small islands. It seems other publications in Fiji, Roratango, Australia, India, Roratango and the Philippines were eaten and used for medical purposes. The roots and bark of the Noni plant were scraped and pounded to form a yellow and red dye used to color clothes and clothing, and the leaves, bark and fruit were used for many different ailments.

No part of this plant seemed to go wasted, and is used as some form of medicine or food. Witch doctors and healers use the Noni leaves as bandages for wounds helping the healing to take place faster. Green fruits are crushed and the juice extracted as a remedy for lesions or sores. Root and bark is used to treat inflammation and infections. Each country had their own unique way of using this amazing plant for the peoples needs and wants. Stories of fevers, skin disease, respiratory problems, gastrointestinal issues, menstrual and urinary problems, diabetes and venereal diseases are just a few of the ailments that this fruit is said to cure.

Here is a small list of traditional uses that these countries use and claim.

Plant Part Used Traditional Medical Use

Stem: Jaundice, hypertension

Leaves, flowers, fruit, bark: Eye conditions, skin wounds, abscesses, gum and throat disease, respiratory ailments, constipation, fever, laxative

Fruit: Lumbago, asthma, dysentery (Indochina), head lice (Hawaii), wound poultice, broken bones, sores or scabs, sore throat, peeling and cracking of toes and feet, cuts, wounds, abscesses, mouth and gum infections, toothaches, appetite and brain stimulant food, boils, carbuncles, tuberculosis, sprains, deep bruises, rheumatism, stomach ulcers, hypertension, Philippines this is used for acne and skin problems.

Leaves: Relieves cough, nausea, colic (Malaysia), tuberculosis, sprains, deep bruising, rheumatism, bone fractures, dislocations, hypertension, stomach ache, diabetes, loss of appetite, urinary tract ailments, abdominal swelling, hernias, vitamin A deficiency

Stem: Jaundice, hypertension

Seed: Scalp insecticide, insect repellant

Fruit juice: Regulate menstrual flow, urinary tract problems, arthritis

Flowers: Sties

Modern Uses of Noni: ADD/ADHD, addictions, allergies, arthritis, asthma, brain problems, burns, cancer, cardiovascular disease, chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue, diabetes, digestive problems, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, gout, hypertension, immune deficiency, infection, inflammation, jet lag, multiple sclerosis, muscle and joint pain, polio, rheumatism, severed fingers, sinus, veterinary medicine.

The smell and taste of this plant is sometimes overwhelming, however the uses and medicinal value surely overcomes this distaste. The juice can be mixed with other juices to hide the taste and smell.

The plant itself grows well in almost any soil condition including sandy or rocky soil. The areas though, it seems to grow the best are on the volcanic mountain areas of the Pacific Islands. The flowers are small and white, and grow from the structure of the plant. It would seem the nectar is preferred by other honey eating insects. It will bloom year around when conditions are right. The fruit are 3-8 inches in length. The fruit starts our green then turns light yellow or even white when it ripens. The fruit is edible but again have a horrific smell and taste. Grows well in a container, seems to tolerate shade and will bear large amounts of fruit in a pot. If kept indoors the flowers must be hand pollinated for fruit. This plant can NOT take cold temps below 55F, so you must protect it during the winter. If it goes below 55 but stays about 32 the leaves fall of but the roots stay alive and the plant will grow once the weather turns warm and will still fruit the same year. We water ours once a day, but this is not necessary. We have an automatic water system for our plants to help the growing process.

Peter Dixon Owner of Nipa Hut Gardens and Gifts offers a wide array of Free Gardend Ebooks and Garden Articles as well asproducts for the whole family, which are usually not found in the large retail stores and include, rare fruit trees, plants, vines, flowers, Free Garden Ebooks, Free Business Ebooks, Digital books, Digital programs and more. Visit his website at http://www.nipahutgardens.com

Wakeboarding: The New Surfing

Wakeboarding is a sport of the times. A wakeboarder is a person towed behind a boat or a cable skiing lift at a speed of around 18-24 mph. The main difference is that instead of skis, the rider uses a single board, shorter in length and wider than snowboards, with foot bindings.

For decades, surfing was the favorite sport of the beach lover. Even in doing this sport, one would require transportation by boat from one location to another. In 1985, a San Diego Surfer named Tony Finn developed a hybrid of the water ski and the surfboard. He called this the Skurfboard. This new board looked almost exactly like a surfboard but was pulled by a boat while its rider performed new skills and tricks. The sport was consequently called Skurfing. Later that summer, foot straps were added to these boards and this was a big thing. This allowed riders to do more free-flowing and dynamic stunts. However, the sport continued to struggle due to a lack of innovation and technology surrounding the boards.

Herb OBrien, a successful businessman in waterskiing and the owner of H.O. Sports, changed the face of the sport by refining the boards, making it possible for riders to perform even more stunts. Other companies soon followed suit. The sport gained large and wide audiences in 1992, when World Sports & Marketing, a Florida-based sports and events promoter, began setting up wakeboard events. This gave wakeboarders a chance to compete on a professional level at the same time getting exposure on international sports stations ESPN and ESPN2. The sport got more validation when World Publications launched its own publication, Wake Board Magazine, in 1993. With each passing year, support for the Pro Wakeboard Tour and the magazine continue to grow. To add to this, various cups have been formed and launched and are eagerly anticipated and widely attended.

For the average beach dweller, the pull of the sport is obvious. Unlike surfing, it is fairly easy to pick-up. You have something to hold on to when wakeboarding and, for a lot of people, this support is a real perk. The obvious other advantages are there. With Wakeboarding, you are free to do the sport at any time. While surfers need to follow the waves, wakeboarders can be active on any beach. The only thing necessary is a boat to pull you along. There is a lot of room for self-expression as well. Much like water-skiers, wakeboarders have the freedom to reach for greater and greater heights when doing stunts. Some interesting trivia about wakeboarding include the following. At present, there are over 3.1 million wakeboarders worldwide. A video game about wakeboarding called Wakeboarfing Unleashed was released in 2003. The average income for wakeboarders is $95, 400 USD. Wakeboarding is now part of the X-Games and Gravity Games attracting even more attention and credibility as an extreme water sport. 75% of wakeboarders are male and aged 13-24, but a growing number of female wakeboarders are beginning to make a dent on the male-dominated sport. In addition, wakeboarding is currently the fastest growing water sport.

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Does Your Car Engine Backfire?

Does your vehicle engine run ok?

Or does it cut-out on you sometimes when your are going to visit your in-laws?

Does it *spit* and *sputter* and *backfire*, then start running ok, again?

Symptoms of this nature can be several things.

You could have a sparkplug wire shorting out.

You could have an electrical wire shorting out.

You may have some water in the fuel tank.

Lets take the most common of these three mentioned.

Over the years you cannot keep they fuel tank full at all times.

With a fuel tank half full, the upper part can cause condensation.

This condensation will slowly build up and run down into the bottom of the tank.

When you start to pass another vehicle you call upon the fuel pump to give me more gasoline.

The fuel pump starts working overtime and picks up more fuel, then the water goes into the line along with the gasoline.

The fuel filter catches this water and since water is heavier than gasoline, it drops to the bottom of the filter.

After awhile though, you come up behind me, and Im not driving quite as fast as you would like to go, so you floorboard it and go around me.

What happens when you floorboard it?

Right, you are asking for more fuel.

With the filter partially full of condensation, water, some of it gets picked up into the fuel line and goes to the carburetor or injector.

Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, Pow!

Purr, purr, purr.

See what happens?

You can solve this problem, most of the time, by changing the fuel filter two or three times a year.

Now, if you have just filled up at the pump, and your car starts acting this way, you may have to take the fuel tank off and clean it out.

Or, pay someone else to do it!

Tommy Sessions has been in auto repair since 1970. He publishes Auto Repair Answers Newsletter so you can learn how to keep your vehicle looking new, running safely and efficiently, while you save money and time...also, learn how to avoid shop rip offs. Don't be at the mercy of the dealerships and auto repair shops...they will have more respect for you.
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